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Updated: November 21, 2022 @ 5:20 am
When we first hear the words “domestic abuse,” it’s easy to think in terms of caricatures, like a large man physically terrorizing a woman and child. While this is a reality for some, domestic abuse also manifests in quieter, more subtle ways.
Abuse is about power and control. This controlling behavior can take on a variety of forms: physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, or financial control is a commonality. Abuse isolates victims — robbing them of the ability to make decisions on their own and live free.
Abuse is not isolated to relationships between men and women. In the United States in intimate partner relationships, including same-sex relationships, one in every four women and one in every nine men are victims of domestic abuse during some point in their lives. Abuse is unacceptable! If we men start by setting the expectation that we will not stand quietly in the face of violence, but will stand up for victims, we have a chance to change the systems that perpetuate cycles of violence.
The problem of abuse will not go away until unhealthy masculine stereotypes are diminished or no longer encouraged. Real men are warriors who savor peace. Real men are chivalrous while championing for equality. Real men are gentle-men who lead as partners, fathers, brothers, and friends. We must disrupt stereotypes to the contrary. Real men have an affirmative obligation to treat all with respect. We must deliberately serve as an example for other men. We must be part of the solution and must work to eradicate abuse and abusive attitudes toward women or any person based on their gender identity or expression.
It starts with us. Only men can end male-perpetrated violence against women. And to be a true ally in this fight, we must stand against abuse wherever we see it. Abuse and gender-based violence — in any form — is unacceptable. We need to stop misogynistic comments, sexual harassment, and sexist jokes by other men. We need to send an unmistakable message to our peers, colleagues, and families that domestic violence and sexual abuse is intolerable. When the story of our life is written, there will be a start year, a dash, and an end year. Let’s work together to make all life dashes a little longer, free from domestic and sexual violence, and, by this, we will make life a little sweeter for all.
Men, please join the fight against violence by using your voices and your resources to right injustices and support abuse survivors. You can help shift the culture to make respect and equality the norm. Together, with men standing alongside women, we can bring about the change that is needed.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please encourage them to reach out to The Laurel Center. This organization provides emergency shelter, intervention and education programs that support women, men, and children throughout our community.
Andrew Vipperman is a resident of Winchester.
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Pretty sure if you can’t define what a woman is, you can’t define “man” either.
Is it male to female violence with two trans-genders? And aren’t women equal to men? What about woman to man violence? So much confusion! Who gets to “define” anything?
And, I wish this was tongue in cheek, but sadly, it’s not…
It’s not just men, Mr. Vipperman.
In fact, many domestic abuse situations are initiated by women. To be effective, intervention needs to address both men and women.
Only 90%+ men.
1/4 women, 1/9 men. Nobody is excluding you.
Keep up the great work Mr. Vipperman
Well said, Mr. Vipperman. Unfortunately, Republican Congressman Ben Cline voted against the Violence Against Women Act which reauthorized critical grant programs and subsequent legislation, established new grant programs, and strengthened federal law concerning domestic abuse. It also reinforced the role of state and territorial domestic violence coalitions in coordinating advocacy and services for survivors of domestic abuse. Hopefully, men and women will vote to send Mr. Cline home and will vote for Jennifer Lewis for Congress. Jennifer will support measures to protect everyone from abuse.
Who in their right mind would vote against that Act? Who in their right mind would vote for someone that voted against protecting women and girls from violence?
Read the reasons why and your questions will be answered. The problem is politicians naming a bill for one thing, then shoveling a pile of pig parts in that have nothing to do with the name of the bill. Both sides do it. Quit voting for both sides. They’re all a bunch of liars, not interested in our country. They are only interested in keeping their cushy jobs, fat paychecks, and keeping their constituents bickering at each other instead of watching the politicians ruin this country.
Cline said in his debate that his idea of compromise would be to eat lunch on the Democratic side of the House. Who would invite him, though, with his inhumane record?
Again, Progressives just don’t seem capable of reading what is behind the headlines. A typical Congressional Act only allocates a small portion of the Act to its stated goal and lards the legislation with all kinds of unrelated measures. Congressman Cline has been a big proponent of focusing legislation ONLY on its stated objective. He recognizes that legislative headlines are totally misleading, such as Infrastructure Acts that fund totally unrelated projects or Inflation Reduction Acts that push inflation into hyperdrive rather than reduce it. We need more Congress people such as Ben Cline in order to keep our legislative process honest.
Thanks for this reminder. It’s surreal, actually.
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